So, lately I've kind of been in a funk with God. That's extremely hard for me to admit. It feels wrong, it feels a little like I should be struck by lightning and shot down. Seriously, it kind of makes me want to throw up to write that out, but that's the truth.
If you could have seen me in Sunday school this week, you would have closed your eyes and prayed for me that I would quit making such a fool of myself. Yes, it was that bad. My rambling went to a whole new level. And then mid-sentence, I couldn't finish what I wanted to say because 1) I couldn't come up with the right words and 2) it was kind of a questioning God sentence and I couldn't say in front of other people that I had doubts, because what if I caused questions for them. Yeah, it was bad.
So, then I stayed after class to try to explain to the teacher (also our preacher) what I was trying to say. Then I start crying because I feel guilty because I'm questioning God. People, it was terrible!!
So all week, I've rolled over Sunday in my mind, I've rolled over questions in my mind, I've rolled over all sorts of thoughts in my mind. There's been a lot of mind rolling going on.
Today I read this post. It spoke to me big time. And then I did a little reflection on some other posts I've read this week, like this one and this one. Both are blogs that I read often. Both are Christian girls, but they don't talk about Jesus every day. But both did this week. It took me blog post #3 of the week to figure out this wasn't just by chance.
So, I sent a message to the author of the first post that ended something like this...
It seems like I've read several posts this week in which the author has talked about having a spirit of thankfulness. Hmmmm, I don't think that's random. Thanks for being the post where God really slapped me upside the head and said "Hey Girl, I'm talking to you!!"
Thankfulness... I've seen it in my life before, when thoughts get jumbled, when trials come, when doubts enter in, go back to thankfulness. It put things in perspective, it reminds me of God's goodness and God's love for me.
I'm going to end with a few verses on thankfulness. Happy Thursday.
James 1:17 ESV
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Hebrews 13:15 ESV
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.
Psalm 118:28-29 ESV
You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you. Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!
Psalm 105:1 ESV
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples!