God is intentional. Those words keep playing in my head. Yesterday I went to my sister's church since I spent the weekend in Nashville. Their regular preacher wasn't there, instead it was a retired Army guy. That was one of the first things he said. He went on to talk about the parable of the talents, and my mind was running the whole time, it had about a thousand different meanings to me. God is intentional. I have the gifts I have for a reason. I don't have certain gifts for a reason. He gave me the tools I needed to serve Him in the way He wanted it to happen.
I've really been struggling lately with purpose in my life. I'm feeling like a failure in my service to God. I know we are supposed to use our every day lives to serve, and I just feel like I'm not doing that. It's distressing, and I feel unfulfilled, and somewhat useless.
Last week I was reading a blog, and I came across this... " I'm a woman who isn’t the greatest cook. But a woman who wants to learn to be more thankful for what I am than guilty for what I’m not."
That spoke to me big time! I tear myself down constantly, I feel nothing but unworthy, not good enough, I feel guilt about the things I can't do right, I don't have time for, I don't have talent for.
But all of these feelings are wrong. God intentionally made me as I am, and I need to be thankful for the gifts I do have and to celebrate when he gives me the opportunity to use them. I need to work to make these skills stronger and sharper so they are always ready to glorify God to the fullest.
Am I making any sense?
Basically, I'm still struggling with what I'm supposed to be doing, struggling with remembering what my gifts are, but I feel like God put each of these messages in my path to see things just a little more clearly and to let me know He's still there.